Okay, I'm sure we've all been there. It's one of those times where you simply give your ascent to a friend or loved one about some random thing or circumstance because either (a) they're going to win the argument anyway or, (b) it's something you're just not that worried about one way or the other. This was me but a few short weeks ago as my wife approached me with the suggestion/declaration that we were going to enter our lovely daughter, Peyton, into the local Manatee County Fair baby contest.
"It'll be fun! She'll do so great! And we could win $100 AND free tickets to the fair next year!" she enthusiastically shared with me.
Apparently, I'm an idiot. I nodded, smiled, and thought nothing of it. Yet, the closer the days grew to the actual event, I began to have a few misgivings.
"Are you sure?" I asked, "Don't you remember our watching Little Miss Sunshine?" She'd simply laugh off my concerns and we'd go our separate ways on the issue.
Finally, we come to the day. We roll out of bed early and head over to the local fairgrounds. Actually, we're there before the fair actually opens because the pageant starts that early. Thankfully, the younger contestants were being judged first. So, we pull into the parking lot and proceed to gather our belongings to head on in. As we're doing so, we began to take notice that there are a bunch of cars already in the lot. And we're watching some of these folks gather up their belongings and kids. They're pulling virtual wardrobes out of the back of their cars, touching up their children's makeup as they head down the dusty trail to the large tent where the pageant is to be held. This was a cause for concern as we pushed our stroller toward the tent of doom.
It really should be taken as a sign when the tent we were headed to was directly across from a large livestock area which was used for the judging of cattle and swine. This irony was not lost on me as I pushed the stroller into the bowels of the tent and found a seat. My son squirmed and tugged and tried my every ounce of patience as I waited for Erin to finish checking Peyton in. I took the few moments I had between Tyler talking, poking me, or making a run for it, to look around and check out the competion. Upon doing so, I felt it was time to go.
Turning one way, I was a woman enter with a bundle of clothing, a child in tow, and a virtual pound of regalia she proceeded to begin applying to her child. Looking the other way only brought my eyes to a young lady, this one not much older than four or five, her hair up in curlers, as her mother adjusted her outfit and applied a bit of blush to her cheeks. There was no place to turn that really held any new view. I instantly began to feel sick to my stomach. This was not right!
Before long, it was time for judging. My wife stood in a long, long line of women and men with their prospective children as they were paraded before the board of judges. I won't lie; there were some cute kids. It's just that they were all dolled up and dressed up and made to look far more uncomfortable than any newborn or one year old should. These kids should have been crawling around, spitting raspberries at one another rather than being made to smile for the judging panel! And before long, the judging was over.
It was a short while and the judges reached their decision. I know it's a shock, especially after you see the picture, that Peyton didn't win. And truthfully, she didn't have a chance one way or another. We came to find out that there were a number of areas she could be entered in, best hair, best eyes, best outfit, and some other random ones as well. We only opted for best eyes because the kid's got some beautiful eyes and well, we're poor so ponying up more money for more categories to help fund the fair didn't really make sense. This automatically took her out of any real running outside of the entered category. Bummer.
Needless to say, we won't be entering Peyton into any more contests anytime soon. We'd just as soon have her recognized for just being a cool kid as opposed to being put up on a butcher block to be judged. What a world! We're a bunch of crazy people!
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