Bathroom Humor

Okay, in keeping with my committment to post something a tad more regularly, here's a quick thought that I had this week.

All righty, now stay with me here because this is going to unpack itself quick and well, might be a little off kilter. We've all certainly had this experience and I want to ask you how you feel about it. It deals with a certain number two and said number's relationship to public restrooms. No, I'm not trying to be vulgar or just gross here but, well, I'm curious. Have you ever had that moment where, well, despite all good intentions, you've just got to go and you're out and about? Of course you have. It's that bodily function nobody really wants to discuss but it's there. We can't escape it. And sometimes it takes us down in public.

So, we hurry off to the nearest restroom, Lord willing not at a roadside gas station or some other similar home of every disease known to man and God and enter in. Now, here's the part I'm particularly freaked out by. It's the part of the show where one must drop their britches and sit down. The freaky part is when you sit down to take care of the impending issue and the seat is warm. Warm! This should not be! This is a porcelein toilet bowl, not a towel fresh from the dryer nor something you really want to be warm. I'm not saying that I particularly enjoy the chilling feeling of a cold toilet seat but, in the confines of the public restroom, yes, that's what I want. Because if it is warm, then the obvious is apparent. Someone has been here. Someone has been here recently.

This is not a comforting thought to me. Some might think otherwise. They might contend that the commonness of our humanity via our waste functions and whatnot show a bond between all humans and that this sameness is a beautiful expression of who we are. They might state that to be freaked out by something so inane, so banal, is to simply deny being who you are. Well, to them I say, WHAT? I'm just not incredibly excited about allowing my hinder quarters to be sharing space with just anyone elses. It's one thing to share a seat, with a layer of clothing between us and whatnot and even then, sometimes, it's questionable. But to share something upon which my bare cheeks will rest, knowing that not minutes before, Joe Jones has rested his own very behind upon as well. Well, that disturbs me.

Thanks for listening.