200 B.P.M.'s

A week or so ago my wife and I had the chance to sit down and watch the latest Incredible Hulk movie. I've always been a fan of the Hulk, from reading the comic books to watching the old school television show with Lou Ferrigno and Bill Bixby. I will admit that the Ang Lee adaption of the franchise left me wanting, really wanting. But as we watched the latest featuring Edward Norton, one of the more underrated actors in my opinion, I found myself pleased as I munched my popcorn.

I think the thing that has always intrigued me about the Hulk is the ongoing battle between Dr. Banner and his alter-ego. Banner is constantly warring within himself, recalling truths a certain apostle seemed to pen nearly 2000 years ago. That's a battle that I'm more than familiar with and the over the top comic book rendering of it simply hits home for me.

Lately it's hit home more than I like. I'm generally a pretty even-keel kind of guy, patient to a fault, some might say. But in more recent weeks, that's been far from the truth. While I've still maintained some sense of decorum, I find my inner workings struggling against outside influences. It's as though outside stimuli, noises, kids, idiot drivers, and more are all working doubletime to get under my skin. And it's working, and I find myself, like Banner, watching my heart rate rise and rise, approaching that 200 b.p.m. danger zone.

Okay, so I'm not sure if I'm really having my heart pump that hard but the bottom line is that I'm just struggling with maintaining my sanity amongst all this stuff as of late. Normally, I can just shrug things off or just, and this is great, stuff it deep inside until I can let it out in sports or some other venue like WRITING IN ALL CAPS. But it's like a filters been removed and I just can't let it slide, can't shove it down; it's almost as though I'm trying to stuff the trash down into the can and it just won't take any more.

I'm not sure what's going on, and, yes Mom, I am praying about it, but for now, don't make me angry. Trust me, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.