Disappointed and Ashamed

Those are the two emotions I've been keeping under wraps here today after some revelations yesterday. Erin and I had the chance to spend a few hours together, grabbing some dinner at the always fabulous El Adobe and then swinging by Best Buy for me to pick up the previously mentioned David Cook album. While at the Best Buy, we happened upon the display for the Playstation 3. I grabbed Erin and let her know that I would really like to get one for Tyler for Christmas to which she emphatically replied, "We just can't afford it!"

Now, I'm not going to lie; my disappointment wasn't all for my boy. I too enjoy a video game then and again as I simple stress reliever myself. And quite frankly, as one who has watched the games evolve from the Atari 2600 (Pitfall, anyone?) to the uber-realistic graphics and gameplay of today, I'm in awe of these machines. Plus, they're a Blu-Ray DVD player as well which, in my opinion, sets us up for the next big purchase in a flat-panel TV. But, in further honesty, video games have provided Tyler and I a way to bond and spend some good time together. We've tackled Storm Troopers together, found the Lost Ark of the Covenant together, and have even boxed one another a time or two. Of course, that's before the Playstation 2 broke. Twice. And since then, we've just been waiting. And waiting. And hoping.

Now that's the disappointment part of our show. The ashamed emotions come from the fact that I'm allowing myself to get even the slightest bit bummed about our not being able to procure some potentially overpriced toy for my son and I while others are just thankful to be getting a meal, hot or cold, during this holiday season. This morning I was greeted with the local news which pontificated over the poor economy, the rising homeless rate, and the plight of the everyday citizen to just make ends meet. And I was ashamed.

I was ashamed because I am blessed. I'm eating steak and corn and rice for dinner tonight, the ingredients of which I bought fresh from a local grocery store with money we earned from our jobs. Tonight we'll sleep in warm, comfortable beds after tucking our healthy children into their warm beds. Tomorrow we'll rise and drive to work in our cars which run, which are full of gas, which will convey us to our jobs which we're more than fortunate to have. It's so easy to forget the blessings we have. And it's not that it's wrong to want things or to desire some material possession but when we look around, it just reminds of us how much we DO have.

So do I still want a Playstation 3? Sure I do. But will I lose sleep over it? Not this Christmas. I really want to focus on the things that are important and truly remember the blessings I have.