I'm not entirely sure why but this morning as I drove into work I was reminded of the failures that have taken place in my life. Granted, it wasn't every failure that came to mind but it was the one's that, for whatever reason, still seem to haunt my memory. And it's not like these are things that I dwell on or that keep me up late at night, chewing my fingernails and causing me untold anguish, but, well, sometimes remembering them just simply gives me the blues. So here are some of the thoughts that came to mind...
...the time that I gashed my hand open the week before a beach volleyball tournament, when my partner and I were probably at the best playing level we'd ever be at...
...the tournament that found us playing to move into the semifinals where we rallied only to lose due to an errant serve to my partner...
...the tournament this past year that I "played" and then got benched to watch the team go down in further flames...(not too mention the open gym I attended shortly thereafter and simply played the worst I've played in years!)
(Lots of sport failures in there...)
Those were some of the more vivid one's that came to mind. Along with them came thoughts of missed, at least in perception, opportunities like my parting with ministry life. Or different financial things.
I don't know, I guess that sometimes I just find myself having failed one heck of a lot more than I've succeeded. The only things I've done right are marry my wife and father my two pretty great kids but that's better attributed to the grace of God than to any merit that I might have. I've just found myself as of late really longing to make an impact, to do something of substance with the ideas, thoughts, and dreams that I have. I don't want to have my dreams crash and burn like those of my youth. Yet, some days, I'm not even sure what those dreams are...
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