Wednesday, March 08, 2006
So, so sorry...
I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I can't take it anymore. I can't deal with it anymore. These demons torment me. They tear at me, at the very fabric of my being, it seems and I just can't think straight. I hurt, and I hurt others. The path is futile and I stand outside of it and watch it all take form, molding itself into it's evil incarnation as I, as though in an out of body experience, feel powerless to stop it. It's as though I'm controlled from somewhere else. I lay it down now. I can't carry the damn burden any longer. It's yours. Do what you will with it. Do what you will with me. If you want to use me, use me. If you don't, that's fine too. It's all yours now. Just give me peace.
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2 comments:
Sometimes i step back and laugh at my own immaturity. i laugh at the mistakes i've made just minutes before. I think that i would never be so stupid or unthoughtful or hurtful. but i'm soon reminded when i repeat the same mistakes over and over, having to ask forgiveness more than i ever thought from God and those i hurt.
you're not alone.
Thanks for the encouragement. It's a tough road to walk, a long journey to tread, but I think that perhaps the best encouragement we can draw is that even in our failures and depravity, something within, or maybe better said "something put into us", keeps drawing us on to something better. Thanks again.
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