Idle words...

I found myself this past week or so reflecting upon the care that we must give to our words and the things we say. While that might seem like a very obvious, very general statement, it is still nonetheless true. What I am addressing most pointedly is the simple statements that we often use to provide advice, comfort, or, at least in our minds, help someone through a difficult time.

It seems those of us in the Christian world tend to struggle with what to say when bad times come into people's lives. We're not entirely sure how to respond and often end up with a hastily muttered, "Pray about it". This is not bad advice. In fact, I think it's great advice. The problem however, is that while it shares a good principle, it doesn't necessarily get heard due to the situation that is booming overhead.

Case in point: Just this past week my wife met up with an old friend of ours whom she hadn't touched base with in a while. This friend goes way back with us to an old church we used to attend and so forth, has married another friend of ours, and they have a quiver of kids and whatnot. Over the years, financial situations and more have sort of placed a bit of a block between the couple and while they profess to love one another, things are not as they should be. Without going into detail, it's just not a good thing. Well, this friend of ours went to see her pastor for help, for advice, for encouragement, for anything that would help. The pastor's counsel? Pray about it. Not, "Hey, let's get you guys in here and talk some of this out". Not, "Hey, let's get you guys in here and let's pray about this together". Nope. Pray about it. It's good advice but somewhere along the lines the challenge of Jesus to us to "speak the truth in love" has been forgotten.

As I shared with some friends after I'd been on the receiving end of such a time, sometimes we just need to hear something more along the lines of "that sucks" rather than what is truly obvious to us. The truth must be administered in such a way that it comes across as real, as something you've tasted, rather than something you've read.