Should've Taken the Blue Pill

This week Erin and I have been re-watching the Wachowski brothers great Matrix movies. Now, I'm with most of you and agree that the series did nothing but go downhill after the first film but, well, the special effects are really cool and even if the plots tended to be a little too sketchy, there were some intriguing points of philosophy to ponder while watching Keanu pound some bad guys. So, we've been watching them and I'm struck by some of the parallels to my current situation.

Now, I realize this is not a new thing. The whole core of the Matrix reasoning is that we're living in a world that is not ours, that is lacking our control and is one that we desire to get out of, or at least should. Many and far more intelligent people have discussed these ideas and pondered the ins and outs of the whole philosophy. Yet, I'm taking it from a personal point and am attempting to see myself within the framework. As I've done so, I realize that at one point, I was all about the path of Neo. I wanted to emerge from the goopy goo with things blasting out of my arms and back, rise in knowledge of the Matrix, and take down the Source. Doing so would bring freedom, enlightenment, and, hopefully, peace in Zion.

The spiritual allusions here are tough to miss. And most would align the battle as being against the Devil and his minions as we've fought to overcome our sin and whatnot. There is something to this thinking but, more and more, some of us have found our battles to be waged against more than that old adversary. For some of us, the thinking of the modern world, the machine-like empirical processes and utilitarian ways of old, and particularly within our frameworks of faith known as churches, have been the source of war and conflict. Our battles have been waged over theology and complacency, seeking to align what we know of this world with the world that Jesus promised us it could be.

This thinking and pondering and internal battling has led me to a new thought regarding the Matrix characters. I now feel some sense of compassion for the one known as Cypher. Cypher, as you'll recall, was the one who played the Judas role in the film, betraying the prophetic Morpheus into the hands of the Agents and attempting to kill everyone else in the process. Cypher had tired of the battle. He longed for peace, for rest, and for the taste of a marvelous steak, even if he knew it wasn't real. Now, it's easy for us to point fingers, to mock and scorn this evil character but we must be careful. Because I'm damn weary. Some days I long for the innocence of my fundamentalist upbringing, for the black and white world where no gray areas existed. I long for rest of mind, body, and soul.

Yet, then I'm reminded that this way of thinking, that all is black and white and oh-so-easily identifiable, is the reason the world is in the shape that it is in. And then I'm reminded of the challenges of Christ, who calls us to a Kingdom of love, of peace, and of justice. This kingdom imagery fills my mind with wonder and delight and I realize that I cannot return nor do I wish to. I'm in this for the long haul. If only I could do kung fu too....